Cedar and Sage
I did tons of pre-writing for this post. I have thought about the opening line for weeks. I thought about how I'd set it up for the big reveal at the end. I thought about how fun it would be to finally write good news. I thought about all the work on myself and my state of mind that I did between my last post, when I was pretty down-in-the-dumps, and when I had the last transfer, when I was feeling pretty good. I thought about how I would talk about all that work and the difference it made (the title is an allusion to that work) It didn't work. The last transfer, which had about an 80% chance of a positive pregnancy test, didn't work. I couldn't believe it. This time was different, for me. I really thought I was pregnant, I thought we'd have twins. I thought that this was going to be the happy ending to this long long road. It's not. Being sad is really hard work. It takes a lot of energy, and takes away the things that give you energy back. It's a d