Never Enough
The truth is, it's never enough. I can't get enough of Rudi. That's not to say I don't play around on my phone, or watch tv or do chores while we're at home - all those things happen. But they usually happen with Rudi asleep or nursing or somehow on my body. And it's never enough! Every day I'm so happy and grateful for his existence and excited to see him grow and develop and also a teensy bit sad that every day brings us closer to the day he won't need me any more. Is that insane? I think it's probably insane. I sometimes feel quite frantic about it. Time is already moving too fast and at the same time I just try to soak up all the seconds and focus on being in the moment. This balance between enjoying what is happening now and just living in it with the knowledge that, barring a(nother) miracle, Rudi will be our only child sometimes drives me a bit batty in my head. Not all the way batty, just enough that when people say 'it's ok if yo