Back to Work, back to reality
It's not over yet, but summer is quickly drawing to a close and I have been in my classroom the last two days setting up and getting ready for the coming year.
Friends and family keep asking how I feel about it, returning to work.
Sometimes feelings aren't particularly helpful, is the thing. I have lots of thoughts I allow to flit through my brain about going back to work, and they do not all get along. Here's a smattering:
1. It's good for Rudi to hear 'Mom's going to work and you're going to stay with dad'
2. I'm SO GRATEFUL that Jake has taken the year off to be home with Rudi. It's MUCH easier to be going to work when Rudi gets to be at home with a parent, even though this is a bit financially stressful. I keep repeating to myself: you can always make more money, you never get more time. I'm very excited for the bond that Rudi and Jake will develop this year
3. Teaching is a bit like riding a bike - sitting at my desk and planning out the first few weeks takes a bit of mental exercise to remember how things go, but the skills are still there.
4. At the beginning of my year at home I truly missed teenagers! I am excited to get to know our new crop of kids - grade 9 is a very interesting year for kids - but I wonder if I will be able to love them the same way now that I have Rudi waiting for me at home...will I be able to attach to and fight for the underdog kids? Will I be even fiercer than before in advocating for them? Or will I leave at 3:35?
5. I know with absolute certainty that staying at home full time is not something I want to do. It was 1000% awesome for a year, but I don't think it's for me long-term. Too many dishes and too much floor sweeping!
6. I miss Rudi during the day, but not in a painful way, more in a 'I like that kid' kind of way. He's SO FUN these days - dancing, singing, laughing, LOVES books and playing.
7. The switch of being the one in charge of the house to the one in charge of making the money outside the house is going to be harder than I thought. I feel bad walking by the dirty dishes, full dishwasher, laundry piles and general life chaos when I go to work. But, as Jake says, that's his domain now and mine is to go to work and make the big bucks. I'm sure in a few weeks it will feel normal and I'll take a bit of delight in not doing the dishes 3x a day.
This week coming up we're having one last week at 'the lake', which for us is our friends' boat-in cottage north of Kenora, Ontario.
And then, REAL LIFE instead of my little baby-bubble. It'll be fine. Good, even. Wish me luck!
Friends and family keep asking how I feel about it, returning to work.
Sometimes feelings aren't particularly helpful, is the thing. I have lots of thoughts I allow to flit through my brain about going back to work, and they do not all get along. Here's a smattering:
1. It's good for Rudi to hear 'Mom's going to work and you're going to stay with dad'
2. I'm SO GRATEFUL that Jake has taken the year off to be home with Rudi. It's MUCH easier to be going to work when Rudi gets to be at home with a parent, even though this is a bit financially stressful. I keep repeating to myself: you can always make more money, you never get more time. I'm very excited for the bond that Rudi and Jake will develop this year
3. Teaching is a bit like riding a bike - sitting at my desk and planning out the first few weeks takes a bit of mental exercise to remember how things go, but the skills are still there.
4. At the beginning of my year at home I truly missed teenagers! I am excited to get to know our new crop of kids - grade 9 is a very interesting year for kids - but I wonder if I will be able to love them the same way now that I have Rudi waiting for me at home...will I be able to attach to and fight for the underdog kids? Will I be even fiercer than before in advocating for them? Or will I leave at 3:35?
5. I know with absolute certainty that staying at home full time is not something I want to do. It was 1000% awesome for a year, but I don't think it's for me long-term. Too many dishes and too much floor sweeping!
6. I miss Rudi during the day, but not in a painful way, more in a 'I like that kid' kind of way. He's SO FUN these days - dancing, singing, laughing, LOVES books and playing.
7. The switch of being the one in charge of the house to the one in charge of making the money outside the house is going to be harder than I thought. I feel bad walking by the dirty dishes, full dishwasher, laundry piles and general life chaos when I go to work. But, as Jake says, that's his domain now and mine is to go to work and make the big bucks. I'm sure in a few weeks it will feel normal and I'll take a bit of delight in not doing the dishes 3x a day.
This week coming up we're having one last week at 'the lake', which for us is our friends' boat-in cottage north of Kenora, Ontario.
And then, REAL LIFE instead of my little baby-bubble. It'll be fine. Good, even. Wish me luck!
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