For the love of Parenthood
There was a moment at the end of our spring break vacation, which was AMAZING, where I surveyed the scene around me with a mixture of revulsion, amusement, worry, frustration, and helplessness, but overall, calm.
Rudi had just puked for the 4th time in about 100kms. He puked with such force that I didn't catch it with the bib he was wearing as a preventative measure; it went down his front and pooled in his crotch, soaking into the already-fouled carseat.
Thankfully, we were on a straighter and wider stretch of highway than we had been for the previous 3 pukes, where pulling over immediately was impossible due to low visibility and the very real possibility of being hit while we tried to clean up our child and the car seat.
Jake pulled over and we sprung into action as best we could. Bib off (spilled most of the puke it did catch) and out the door in the grass. Rudi unclipped and muscled out of the car without letting him come in for a snuggle, which he desperately wanted as snot and puke poured out his face. We stood him on the grass and stripped him naked, wiped his face as best we could with the already-pukey rag and then finally I gathered him up and held him, only in his diaper, as Jake tried to clean out the car seat. It was 3 degrees, cars were cruising by and I had to wonder, what does this look like to them?
It felt simultaneously like a very horrible way to end a fantastic trip and also like some kind of perverse accomplishment. We were handling it. We dug more bibs out of the suitcase, found one more clean and dry outfit, and shoved all the pukey clothes into a wetbag that was thankfully handy. We didn't snap at each other.
These are the moments that people who are unsure or don't want to be parents point to. A car full of puke on a windy, hilly road and a very real deadline of getting to the airport on time (we made it with 15 minutes to spare)
And still, in this very far from ideal moment, there was not a single regret in my mind about being a parent and hauling Rudi across the country. I snuggled my boy as best I could. I stroked his cheek and head until he finally fell asleep, a blissful respite from feeling car sick. I reveled in the moment as the one who could (somewhat) fix it.
I get that there is a real need to make space for people to talk about the difficulties of being a parent. There are lots of less-than-ideal moments. You can love your children desperately and find the continuous caregiving, refereeing, intervening, cleaning, comforting, and explaining exhausting.
But I love it all. SO MUCH. I LOVE being a parent in a way I have never loved anything before. And it's hard to talk about that without people feeling judged.
I want to be clear: I'm writing only about me and my experiences. Just because things area this way for me doesn't mean they have to be this way for others or even that I can't understand how others would have such a different view of parenthood.
So all the caveats aside, now I can write freely, yes?
I LOVE BEING A PARENT. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.
Honestly, there is nothing I don't love about it.
Poopy diapers? Don't bother me.
Whining? As he is approaching the big '2', and starting to talk more, whining is becoming more frequent, but so far not making us tear our hair out.
Having to be home for nap time? That means I ALSO GET A NAP! WOOP! Seriously, as an introvert who masquerades as an extrovert a lot of the time, I LOVE this break.
7pm bedtime? No problem. Gives me some time to do a few things before I go to bed at 10.
Staying home in the evening? Fine with me! Read a book, do some writing, make some photobooks, talk with Jake, sounds delightful.
Toys and books strewn around? Rudi's favourite toys are currently his books, an empty and clean mustard container, and empty and clean canister of baking powder, and tupperware, so it's very manageable. Actually, why do we even have toys???
Rudi is so fun. He plays hide and seek with everything, including the fridge, sandwich press and microwave. He runs around the house laughing and playing. He loves helping with dishes, cooking, laundry and dusting. He stacks the cans in the pantry according to size.
Today Rudi was having a rough evening and cried about:
- taking his shirt off
- putting his old pjs in the laundry
- getting in the tub
- washing his hair
- getting out of the tub
And still. And still. He was so cute and adorable as he cried for ever-more snuggles. Maybe he cried because I was laughing at him....probably didn't help.
The point is, this parenthood thing is the ride of my life, and I LOVE IT. I look forward to weekends and evenings with my family. Summer holidays are around the corner and I. CAN'T .WAIT. for 2 months uninterrupted with my two favourite people.
So grateful for this time of life, and these moments of cuddles, snuggles, laughs and adventures. Grateful for my mostly easy-going and happy child. Grateful for a spouse who truly does 50% or more, this year, of the child-rearing and household chores. Even almost grateful for the terribly hard journey that brought us here as it is a big reason why, even then there is puke, crying and a toddler clinging to my leg, I love it.
Rudi had just puked for the 4th time in about 100kms. He puked with such force that I didn't catch it with the bib he was wearing as a preventative measure; it went down his front and pooled in his crotch, soaking into the already-fouled carseat.
Thankfully, we were on a straighter and wider stretch of highway than we had been for the previous 3 pukes, where pulling over immediately was impossible due to low visibility and the very real possibility of being hit while we tried to clean up our child and the car seat.
Jake pulled over and we sprung into action as best we could. Bib off (spilled most of the puke it did catch) and out the door in the grass. Rudi unclipped and muscled out of the car without letting him come in for a snuggle, which he desperately wanted as snot and puke poured out his face. We stood him on the grass and stripped him naked, wiped his face as best we could with the already-pukey rag and then finally I gathered him up and held him, only in his diaper, as Jake tried to clean out the car seat. It was 3 degrees, cars were cruising by and I had to wonder, what does this look like to them?
It felt simultaneously like a very horrible way to end a fantastic trip and also like some kind of perverse accomplishment. We were handling it. We dug more bibs out of the suitcase, found one more clean and dry outfit, and shoved all the pukey clothes into a wetbag that was thankfully handy. We didn't snap at each other.
These are the moments that people who are unsure or don't want to be parents point to. A car full of puke on a windy, hilly road and a very real deadline of getting to the airport on time (we made it with 15 minutes to spare)
And still, in this very far from ideal moment, there was not a single regret in my mind about being a parent and hauling Rudi across the country. I snuggled my boy as best I could. I stroked his cheek and head until he finally fell asleep, a blissful respite from feeling car sick. I reveled in the moment as the one who could (somewhat) fix it.
I get that there is a real need to make space for people to talk about the difficulties of being a parent. There are lots of less-than-ideal moments. You can love your children desperately and find the continuous caregiving, refereeing, intervening, cleaning, comforting, and explaining exhausting.
But I love it all. SO MUCH. I LOVE being a parent in a way I have never loved anything before. And it's hard to talk about that without people feeling judged.
I want to be clear: I'm writing only about me and my experiences. Just because things area this way for me doesn't mean they have to be this way for others or even that I can't understand how others would have such a different view of parenthood.
So all the caveats aside, now I can write freely, yes?
I LOVE BEING A PARENT. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.
Honestly, there is nothing I don't love about it.
Poopy diapers? Don't bother me.
Whining? As he is approaching the big '2', and starting to talk more, whining is becoming more frequent, but so far not making us tear our hair out.
Having to be home for nap time? That means I ALSO GET A NAP! WOOP! Seriously, as an introvert who masquerades as an extrovert a lot of the time, I LOVE this break.
7pm bedtime? No problem. Gives me some time to do a few things before I go to bed at 10.
Staying home in the evening? Fine with me! Read a book, do some writing, make some photobooks, talk with Jake, sounds delightful.
Toys and books strewn around? Rudi's favourite toys are currently his books, an empty and clean mustard container, and empty and clean canister of baking powder, and tupperware, so it's very manageable. Actually, why do we even have toys???
Rudi is so fun. He plays hide and seek with everything, including the fridge, sandwich press and microwave. He runs around the house laughing and playing. He loves helping with dishes, cooking, laundry and dusting. He stacks the cans in the pantry according to size.
Today Rudi was having a rough evening and cried about:
- taking his shirt off
- putting his old pjs in the laundry
- getting in the tub
- washing his hair
- getting out of the tub
And still. And still. He was so cute and adorable as he cried for ever-more snuggles. Maybe he cried because I was laughing at him....probably didn't help.
The point is, this parenthood thing is the ride of my life, and I LOVE IT. I look forward to weekends and evenings with my family. Summer holidays are around the corner and I. CAN'T .WAIT. for 2 months uninterrupted with my two favourite people.
So grateful for this time of life, and these moments of cuddles, snuggles, laughs and adventures. Grateful for my mostly easy-going and happy child. Grateful for a spouse who truly does 50% or more, this year, of the child-rearing and household chores. Even almost grateful for the terribly hard journey that brought us here as it is a big reason why, even then there is puke, crying and a toddler clinging to my leg, I love it.
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