kickin' butt and takin' names

Three days in a row! I am awesome!

Ok, Part One:
Part of working for a large organization in which all the employees are unionized is dealing with the mess-ups that seem to be inevitable and more frequent than they should be (disclaimer: I, too, belong to a union (this is a requirement of my job, that I pay dues to TWO unions. Don't even get me started.) that will protect me to the death should I ever need it. However, they also do the same thing for employees who mess up in quite-large ways and I am not ok with that. Anyway, that is another post for another time). Today I spent a significant amount of time on the phone, compounded with stress and worry, trying to figure out my dental coverage situation because the ONE PERSON who could answer/fix my problem wouldn't return my repeated phone calls. Thanks to some help from friends and sleuthing requiring a trip to moma's to use a PC because my work email wasn't working on my Mac, I discovered that I am being deducted for dental coverage, so somehow there is a miscommunication between my employer and the provider (score! Not my fault! Which I was worried about for a while!). All of this is all-the-more-urgent because tomorrow at 8am, I am having my last wisdom tooth out. Yup, unbeknownst to me for all these years, one of my bottom wisdom teeth has been hiding under the gum, making a (very slow) beeline for the next tooth. I thought I was free and clear when I got a wisdom tooth pulled a month ago (no big deal - it had come through the gum already), but the xrays said differently. So out it comes. Under general anesthesia. I'm a little nervous about it - the 'going under' part. I hope I don't hurl at J and J's tomorrow. They have kindly offered to supervise me for a few hours to make sure I am ok. Hopefully it will be fine. Right? Fine? Jake bought me yogurt to eat while I recover.

Part Two:
When we packed up our kitchen we left out very few of everything. We have one pan, cast iron, that does 80% of our cooking. And I have to say, I am MASTERING that thing. It was a bit of a learning curve, especially now that the baby stove we are using has ceramic coils that hold heat long beyond what a typical coil stove would, PLUS the cast iron holds a lot of heat. But today I cooked something with the strict instructions 'DO NOT BOIL', and I was a little nervous about that, but I DID IT! NO BOILING! Delicious supper! Lemon Asparagus Pasta, with a few minor variations (Orzo instead of angel hair pasta, and add some bbq'd salmon. YUM), from Simply in Season, in case you were wondering.

Part Three:
I am done report cards for the year! (Barring any mistakes my exhausted eyes didn't catch) Whoop!

Part Four:
To continue with the kid-stories: I have more than one student I would like nothing more than to take to a completely part of the world and show them that there are OPTIONS in life, CHOICES - you don't have to do what everyone around you is doing - but the one I'm writing about today tugs on my heart-strings extra-hard.
He is fully grown, over 6 feet tall with the greatest smile you have ever seen. When he started at our school last year I had to work REALLY hard to see that smile, or get a few words out of him. He is talkative, funny, and open (sometimes a little too open) and always treats me and other adults in the school with nothing but respect (unless he is high - that's a little different). He is smart, a natural leader and all the other kids look up to him (literally and figuratively) for better or worse. Lately, it's been worse. At the start of grade 9 he could resist the lure of the streets and spoils to be had there, but as the year went on he felt more and more pressure from friends and home circumstances to join the gang/street culture. We saw less and less of him and when he was in school the stuff he was talking about should never come out of a grade 9 child's mouth, never mind that he was LIVING the stuff he was telling us about.
Today I snagged him in the hallway and between another teacher and I, we convinced him to give us an hour to write his ELA exam. Partway through he turned to me and said 'Ms. B, you really helped me, you know?' I asked him what he meant, and he said 'You gave me that book. That changed things for me' (the book is Indian Joe Blow by Chris Beach). He went on to tell me that he had attempted suicide before because it just seemed like life was 'coming down hard' on him, but after reading that book, he knows that suicide is like a monster trying to get to you - you can't let it win.
I could have cried. He is still a boy, but his life has taken so many turns that have made him into a 'man' way too early - I am very very afraid that his will be a name I read in the newspapers for years to come - and not for good things.
I guess it was a bit of a sobering reminder. These kids are up against SO MUCH. Sometimes all you can do is give them a book you hope will speak to them and maybe, just maybe, it will help them out. I don't think I'll see C again this year - he made sure to say goodbye before he left, and he has a court date in two days and time to serve after that. I'm holding out a teensy bit of hope that in 10 years I will run into him again and his life will be healthy and safe. I hope. I hope.

A happier kid story: There is another boy in my class struggling with suicide and all that goes with it - his sister died of suicide several years ago and from what we gather, D hasn't spoken much since. All year he came to school and sat. Sometimes he watched what was going on, sometimes you could tell he was paying attention, but he never really spoke, and never really wrote. I decided early on that what he needed most was someone to say his name several times a day and let him know he was liked. I SHOWERED that kid with attention - you would not believe. Anyway, today was amazing. It was just me and him in the room for a bit and I got him to play Qwirkle with me. HE WAS INCREDIBLE AT IT! That is seriously the only evidence (other than reading - I managed to find a book that he liked too, but then I praised him for reading it and he quit. Oops) I have seen of what goes on in his head ALL YEAR. Then after lunch I got him to play cards AND Qwirkle with me and other students! And he was laughing! I even teased him a little and he LOVED it. That was such a good day for him. I wish I could keep him forever. Keep loving him. This is a memory I will treasure for a long time. I also hope to meet him in a few years and find out that he is ok, and that life is pretty good for him.

My principal is always saying that in jr high you really need to take 'the long view' of things. That child who is driving you nuts now will be a completely different person in a few years, and they may even come back and tell you that you helped get them there. It's a hard thing to remember in the heat of the moment sometimes, but he's right. To survive this job you have to have hope for the future. Otherwise there is no point.