We're ALL HERE!
I have at least 5 posts that have been living in my brain for the past year. What they all have in common is that I couldn't put them into words until our baby was home for fear of jinxing her safe arrival.
So if I can find the time, prepare for an onslaught of posts that seem somewhat out of order.
For now, though, an arrival post.
Saying the waiting for our girlie to arrive was easy would be a lie - those last weeks were full of stress and anticipation; I had splitting headaches and rage/stress dreams nightly. I was numb during the day but my body and subconscious knew what was going on.
All of that stress and worry evaporated, though, when Lindsay Grace came flying into the world on November 20th, too quickly for Sara to even get in the birth pool, which was where she had wanted to deliver.
So let me back up.
First, Sara was a sight to behold as she brought Lindsay into this world. She rolled with some unexpected disappointments, she cracked jokes throughout, and she was able to focus and find her rhythm through a very intense and very fast labour and delivery. I'll write more about the amazing experience of watching her give birth another time; for now I'll just say that I had been very nervous about watching another woman go through such pain and intense experience on my behalf, but Sara made it easy on me. She honestly was incredible.
So now we are a family of four! We have kids! Plural! It's amazing.
Some thoughts about the first few weeks:
We are complete, fully and completely, our family of four is DONE. When Rudi came home I held out a little niggling hope against hope for another baby and NOW SHE'S HOME! And now we are for real DONE. I'll write more about that later.
Rudi is handling the transition really well. He's clingy and weepy at bedtime if I don't put him to bed, but he's expressed no displeasure about Lindsay coming to stay, and he gives her kisses which is VERY cute.
Lindsay is a fairly chill baby - not quite as chill as Rudi was but she's not anywhere near as high maintenance as many newborns. She IS a grunter, however, and we often can't believe how loud she is! Especially at night!
'Lindsay' is after Jake's step-mom's dad. He's a wonderful man, very intelligent and kind and funny and sharp. He doesn't have any biological grandchildren, so we thought it would be nice to pass his name on. Her middle name comes from the whole experience of surrogacy with Sara and her family. They have been the very embodiment of God's Grace this whole time.
Doing the newborn thing this time around feels very different. She's great and I love sleeping and napping and holding her, but I am WAY more excited this time than last time to see her grow. I was almost sad when Rudi would hit a milestone, because it meant time was moving forward and I thought I'd never get to see a newborn develop again - now I'm ready to celebrate all the changes and growth in Lindsay. There are many reasons for this: I'm not as afraid she'll be taken away from me as I was with Rudi, I'm excited to see their sibling relationship develop, and I'm eager to see what kind of kid she's going to be. Rudi is such a riot and just gets more and more fun - I can't wait to see the same transitions in Lindsay.
I'm going to write more about this too, a whole blog post probably, but I have to say it here too. The sense of relief we both feel at being DONE dealing with fertility/infertility is MASSIVE. Our lives have been dominated by this for 7 years and now here we are, finally able and ready to just LIVE. It's so freeing.
As always, a huge thanks to Sara and her family for getting us here. It is ever-humbling to know that your family came as a gift from others. We are so happy and excited and grateful.
So if I can find the time, prepare for an onslaught of posts that seem somewhat out of order.
For now, though, an arrival post.
Saying the waiting for our girlie to arrive was easy would be a lie - those last weeks were full of stress and anticipation; I had splitting headaches and rage/stress dreams nightly. I was numb during the day but my body and subconscious knew what was going on.
All of that stress and worry evaporated, though, when Lindsay Grace came flying into the world on November 20th, too quickly for Sara to even get in the birth pool, which was where she had wanted to deliver.
So let me back up.
First, Sara was a sight to behold as she brought Lindsay into this world. She rolled with some unexpected disappointments, she cracked jokes throughout, and she was able to focus and find her rhythm through a very intense and very fast labour and delivery. I'll write more about the amazing experience of watching her give birth another time; for now I'll just say that I had been very nervous about watching another woman go through such pain and intense experience on my behalf, but Sara made it easy on me. She honestly was incredible.
So now we are a family of four! We have kids! Plural! It's amazing.
Some thoughts about the first few weeks:
We are complete, fully and completely, our family of four is DONE. When Rudi came home I held out a little niggling hope against hope for another baby and NOW SHE'S HOME! And now we are for real DONE. I'll write more about that later.
Rudi is handling the transition really well. He's clingy and weepy at bedtime if I don't put him to bed, but he's expressed no displeasure about Lindsay coming to stay, and he gives her kisses which is VERY cute.
Lindsay is a fairly chill baby - not quite as chill as Rudi was but she's not anywhere near as high maintenance as many newborns. She IS a grunter, however, and we often can't believe how loud she is! Especially at night!
'Lindsay' is after Jake's step-mom's dad. He's a wonderful man, very intelligent and kind and funny and sharp. He doesn't have any biological grandchildren, so we thought it would be nice to pass his name on. Her middle name comes from the whole experience of surrogacy with Sara and her family. They have been the very embodiment of God's Grace this whole time.
Doing the newborn thing this time around feels very different. She's great and I love sleeping and napping and holding her, but I am WAY more excited this time than last time to see her grow. I was almost sad when Rudi would hit a milestone, because it meant time was moving forward and I thought I'd never get to see a newborn develop again - now I'm ready to celebrate all the changes and growth in Lindsay. There are many reasons for this: I'm not as afraid she'll be taken away from me as I was with Rudi, I'm excited to see their sibling relationship develop, and I'm eager to see what kind of kid she's going to be. Rudi is such a riot and just gets more and more fun - I can't wait to see the same transitions in Lindsay.
I'm going to write more about this too, a whole blog post probably, but I have to say it here too. The sense of relief we both feel at being DONE dealing with fertility/infertility is MASSIVE. Our lives have been dominated by this for 7 years and now here we are, finally able and ready to just LIVE. It's so freeing.
As always, a huge thanks to Sara and her family for getting us here. It is ever-humbling to know that your family came as a gift from others. We are so happy and excited and grateful.
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