It's not all sunshine and roses, friends
I thought my insomnia was related to stress about infertility, but this week has put a huge hole in that theory. We have had a rough couple of days over here.
My insomnia manifests itself in 2 main ways - trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. Staying asleep is a non-issue these days because I do actually wake up to feed Rudi, which I don't mind at all. What I do mind is not being able to go back to sleep afterwards.
A few nights ago it was really bad. It took FOREVER to get to sleep. My hearing was super-sonic. I could hear every twitch in the entire neighborhood, it seemed, even through my earplugs. My brain was on hyper-drive with all kinds of nonsense: what kind of rags to put in the downstairs bathroom, what kind of solid food to give Rudi next, if we should give hostess gifts to all the people we're going to be staying with on our trip to Vancouver Island (have I mentioned that we're going on a trip? For over a month?), what I need to pack for said trip and so on and so forth. I lay there with my eyes closed and tried so hard to get my brain off of real life and on to something boring. I counted backwards from 100, but I only ever make it to the eighties before my brain is off doing its own thing again. If I am about to drift off and then Jake moves or someone outside makes some kind of noise, forget it. The whole process starts again.
I had that going on for a few nights and then Rudi had his worst night since he was a brand-new baby. He got a cold somewhere and when he inhaled deeply, something he does every so often in his sleep, he'd choke/cough on the snot he'd just sucked back. He was up and crying at 9:30pm, 1am (when I fed him), 3:30 - 4:30am and then up for the day at 6:45am. So that combined insomnia meant that I slept from about 11-1 and then from about 5:30-6:45. At one point, after he was back in his crib at about 4:30, working out his issues, I lay in bed with my eyes open, fighting the urge to cry. I was so tired and sleep was nowhere to be found.
The following day I took it easy on both of us, but of course, Rudi was still sick so his naps were about 25 minutes until he'd verschluck himself awake again.
I can't imagine being so sleep deprived all the time. I know several people whose babies are not good sleepers who have had months and months of 3-4 hours of broken-up-sleep a night and I just do not understand how they function. Props and hats off to them. When I don't have insomnia I'm getting about 7 hours of sleep a night and that is great. This week of 4-5ish hours of sleep a night has been a doozy.
I am happy to report that last night was better, for both Rudi and I. Maybe this bout of insomnia has run its course. I sure hope so because the usual way I deal with it is to take a sleeping pill to re-teach my body how to fall asleep/stay asleep. I doubt that would work very well when I actually do have to get up in the night!
In other news: the river trail is open and it goes almost to my house! This means I can put Rudi in the stroller, walk a few blocks, and then SKATE for 7.5kms! It's amazing! Yesterday I humped the stroller down the riverbank on my own and skated just over 8k with a few errands in the middle between. I should have taken a quick video - it was so incredible. Gliding over the ice, getting a view of the city you don't often see, using muscles you (I) don't often use. I loved every second of it. Of course, hauling the stroller back up the riverbank was about as much of a workout as the actual skating itself, but it was worth it. I think I'm going to go tomorrow again, I love it so much.
In other other news: Rudi is very nearly 6 months old. How did this happen? He eats solid food now! He sits! He is so smiley and fun. I can't believe how big he is. I don't know where the time has gone. I have just revelled in (almost) every moment of his little life so far and it's so exciting to see him become himself! Hopefully sleep continues to go well for both of us so we can keep having a fantastic time together.
My insomnia manifests itself in 2 main ways - trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. Staying asleep is a non-issue these days because I do actually wake up to feed Rudi, which I don't mind at all. What I do mind is not being able to go back to sleep afterwards.
A few nights ago it was really bad. It took FOREVER to get to sleep. My hearing was super-sonic. I could hear every twitch in the entire neighborhood, it seemed, even through my earplugs. My brain was on hyper-drive with all kinds of nonsense: what kind of rags to put in the downstairs bathroom, what kind of solid food to give Rudi next, if we should give hostess gifts to all the people we're going to be staying with on our trip to Vancouver Island (have I mentioned that we're going on a trip? For over a month?), what I need to pack for said trip and so on and so forth. I lay there with my eyes closed and tried so hard to get my brain off of real life and on to something boring. I counted backwards from 100, but I only ever make it to the eighties before my brain is off doing its own thing again. If I am about to drift off and then Jake moves or someone outside makes some kind of noise, forget it. The whole process starts again.
I had that going on for a few nights and then Rudi had his worst night since he was a brand-new baby. He got a cold somewhere and when he inhaled deeply, something he does every so often in his sleep, he'd choke/cough on the snot he'd just sucked back. He was up and crying at 9:30pm, 1am (when I fed him), 3:30 - 4:30am and then up for the day at 6:45am. So that combined insomnia meant that I slept from about 11-1 and then from about 5:30-6:45. At one point, after he was back in his crib at about 4:30, working out his issues, I lay in bed with my eyes open, fighting the urge to cry. I was so tired and sleep was nowhere to be found.
The following day I took it easy on both of us, but of course, Rudi was still sick so his naps were about 25 minutes until he'd verschluck himself awake again.
I can't imagine being so sleep deprived all the time. I know several people whose babies are not good sleepers who have had months and months of 3-4 hours of broken-up-sleep a night and I just do not understand how they function. Props and hats off to them. When I don't have insomnia I'm getting about 7 hours of sleep a night and that is great. This week of 4-5ish hours of sleep a night has been a doozy.
I am happy to report that last night was better, for both Rudi and I. Maybe this bout of insomnia has run its course. I sure hope so because the usual way I deal with it is to take a sleeping pill to re-teach my body how to fall asleep/stay asleep. I doubt that would work very well when I actually do have to get up in the night!
In other news: the river trail is open and it goes almost to my house! This means I can put Rudi in the stroller, walk a few blocks, and then SKATE for 7.5kms! It's amazing! Yesterday I humped the stroller down the riverbank on my own and skated just over 8k with a few errands in the middle between. I should have taken a quick video - it was so incredible. Gliding over the ice, getting a view of the city you don't often see, using muscles you (I) don't often use. I loved every second of it. Of course, hauling the stroller back up the riverbank was about as much of a workout as the actual skating itself, but it was worth it. I think I'm going to go tomorrow again, I love it so much.
In other other news: Rudi is very nearly 6 months old. How did this happen? He eats solid food now! He sits! He is so smiley and fun. I can't believe how big he is. I don't know where the time has gone. I have just revelled in (almost) every moment of his little life so far and it's so exciting to see him become himself! Hopefully sleep continues to go well for both of us so we can keep having a fantastic time together.
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