Writer's block....
I've fallen off the writing bandwagon. I haven't just been neglecting my blog, but also my plan to write every day seriously fell by the wayside in December. Partly it was the fault of these awesome Christmas stockings I made! Here are some pictures!
The making of the stockings wasn't hard, per se, but I did have to rip stitches on every single one because I messed up the attachment of the white cuffs on all three of them in different ways. So that was a bit of a pain. But as my sister said 'I'd expect nothing less' and it's so true. When you don't know what you're doing and your guide is what you can remember from home ec in junior high (over 20 years ago!!!!!!), well, it's amazing I didn't have to make 6 stockings!
Rudi helped, obviously. He wasn't very grabby yet so I could do a little sewing with him on my lap, but I think that only lasted for about 5 minutes.
Ta-da! Here they are! Of course, I finished them on December 27th, too late to use this year. But Next year!!!
Not bad, if I do say so myself. If you look closely you can see some flaws but all in all I think they are pretty great little stockings for the three of us. I'm pumped they are fully finished and ready in the Christmas box for next year. Now we have to decide who gets what color.
Ok, but that was not the only reason I stopped writing.
Also I think I'm hung up on a massive topic and I'm not sure how to tackle it. I can't get the opening right and I keep changing the voice, which makes it hard to get flow. The topic is the role of anxiety/depression/mental health during the past 4 years and it's really hard to get some traction on it. It's hard because it was so pervasive. I started listing the panic attacks, or near panic attacks, I had and I just kept remembering more and more of them and I'm not far enough away from it yet not to FEEL those feelings again. Even as I sit here with Rudi sleeping on me my heart starts to pound and the tears prick behind my eyes...the memory of that feeling is still so visceral.
So maybe by writing about writing about it that'll help? Often acknowledging the difficulty unblocks it. We'll see, I guess.
In other news:
Rudi sleeps in his own room at night now and puts himself to sleep. WHAT THE WHAT! How did this happen? How is he such a grown-up baby? With a bedtime and bedtime routine and all of that? Well, it became clear that he was truly too big for the basinette when he'd wake himself up by flailing against the sides. Plus a few times we thought he's knock it right over with his kicking. So now after eating, some stories, some cuddles and a song, we lay him in his crib, say good night and walk away! He usually cries for about 5-7 minutes before falling fast asleep. One magical night he didn't cry at all. THAT was strange.
I was sad that now he's in his own room but it's obvious he needs the space of the crib as he manages to wiggle his way all over it at night. We often find him stuffed in a corner or smushed up against the bars or rotated 90-180 degrees from where we left him. Kid's got the wiggles!
Also: Jake goes back to work tomorrow and so Rudi and I will return to our regularly scheduled days of walks and naps and some minor adventures inbetween. I'm going to get back on the writing bandwagon. And make some photo books. All of a sudden the end of this year together is in sight and I don't like that, not one little bit.
But right now, in this moment, the sun is shining in the windows of my sun room, I'm cozy in a blanket with Rudi sound asleep on me and the words are flowing quickly. All is right in our little world.
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Ok, but that was not the only reason I stopped writing.
Also I think I'm hung up on a massive topic and I'm not sure how to tackle it. I can't get the opening right and I keep changing the voice, which makes it hard to get flow. The topic is the role of anxiety/depression/mental health during the past 4 years and it's really hard to get some traction on it. It's hard because it was so pervasive. I started listing the panic attacks, or near panic attacks, I had and I just kept remembering more and more of them and I'm not far enough away from it yet not to FEEL those feelings again. Even as I sit here with Rudi sleeping on me my heart starts to pound and the tears prick behind my eyes...the memory of that feeling is still so visceral.
So maybe by writing about writing about it that'll help? Often acknowledging the difficulty unblocks it. We'll see, I guess.
In other news:
Rudi sleeps in his own room at night now and puts himself to sleep. WHAT THE WHAT! How did this happen? How is he such a grown-up baby? With a bedtime and bedtime routine and all of that? Well, it became clear that he was truly too big for the basinette when he'd wake himself up by flailing against the sides. Plus a few times we thought he's knock it right over with his kicking. So now after eating, some stories, some cuddles and a song, we lay him in his crib, say good night and walk away! He usually cries for about 5-7 minutes before falling fast asleep. One magical night he didn't cry at all. THAT was strange.
I was sad that now he's in his own room but it's obvious he needs the space of the crib as he manages to wiggle his way all over it at night. We often find him stuffed in a corner or smushed up against the bars or rotated 90-180 degrees from where we left him. Kid's got the wiggles!
Also: Jake goes back to work tomorrow and so Rudi and I will return to our regularly scheduled days of walks and naps and some minor adventures inbetween. I'm going to get back on the writing bandwagon. And make some photo books. All of a sudden the end of this year together is in sight and I don't like that, not one little bit.
But right now, in this moment, the sun is shining in the windows of my sun room, I'm cozy in a blanket with Rudi sound asleep on me and the words are flowing quickly. All is right in our little world.
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