We've taken on a lot, and somehow managed to stay in tact. Living life now as a family of 4!

My time alone with Rudi is coming to an end. Jake will be done work in 2 weeks and then the three of us will be hanging out having adventures together for the summer before I head back to work in September and Jake and Rudi get to have their time alone together. I tried to explain to Jake how I was feeling about the upcoming transitions in our world. I'm excited for our summer of fun together (and also so grateful that we will always have 2 months off as a family!), and I'm VERY happy that Jake is staying home with Rudi next year - they will have so much fun. I'm also sad about my time alone with Rudi ending. I have loved this year, SO MUCH. It's not that there weren't hard days: there were. But overall, by far and away, when I think back to our fall and winter and spring together, the overwhelming image that pops out to me is the afternoon light streaming through the windows of the sunroom, Rudi asleep on my chest, my head back, basking in the sun. This year ...

I try hard not to swear on this blog, but sometimes, there just isn't a way to express yourself otherwise. The judge rejected our declaration of parentage for Rudi DESPITE THE FACT that we submitted ALL of the following: - our legal agreement (40 pages of legalese that says that Rudi was created for us with the help of Jay and Tara) - An affadavit from Jacob stating that he is the father of Rudi - An affadavit from me saying that I am the mother of Rudi - An affadavit from Jay saying he is not the father of Rudi, that Jake and I are the parents - An affadavit from Tara saying she is not the mother of Rudi, that Jake and I are the parents - the actual declaration of parentage itself - a letter from the fertility clinic stating that the embryo implanted in Tara is the biological material of Jake and I - Rudi's original birth certificate In addition to ALL OF THAT (which represents $1000s in legal fees, by the way) the judge wants to see a copy of the registration of b...

Ok, what I really want to write about is my very complicated feelings about my first Mother's day as a mother but I feel like I can't dive into that topic without first acknowledging the response to my previous post. It went VIRAL! I've decided that is the most accurate term for what happened. As of today there have been 38,351 page views of that post, all due to people sharing on Facebook. Most of the views happened in the first 48 hours. That is AMAZING. I certainly did not expect it to travel like that. I thought maybe a few 100 people would see it and that would be that. Instead, the conversation about surrogacy continues :) Lots of people reached out, including a former surrogate who wanted to help, people who knew surrogates, and a few women who wanted more information. Incredible! And that's all I'm going to say about that for now :) So, Mother's day was last weekend. I had feelings about it. Not necessarily the ones I expected to have. All day Jake a...

There's no delicate way to start this, so I'm just going to jump right in. We are looking for someone who is interested in being a gestational carrier to help us add one more baby to complete our family. Yes, that's right - I'm writing a blog post and putting it out into the world in the hopes that someone will email me or message me saying they would be excited and happy to get pregnant with our baby. Long shot? Absolutely. But this is the thing about infertility: Long shots are all we have. Watching Rudi grow and learn and develop has been the greatest joy of our lives these past 9 months. There are no words to describe just how fun it is when he tries something new or smiles and leans in for a hug. Parenthood so far hasn't been without its challenges, but for the most part it's been a gratifying and joyful experience. For me in particular, it has filled an aching hole and made me feel wholly myself again. I unabashedly love it. Before we knew tha...

Well, we've been home for a month so I guess it's time to finally write about our amazing trip. Our trip was 5 weeks, with roughly one week to travel from Winnipeg to Vancouver Island, 3 weeks on Vancouver Island, and then a little less than a week to get back home. Things We Saw: 1. So many great people! We very conveniently have friends and family approximately every 400-700kms between here and Vancouver Island and seeing them all was wonderful. Everyone loved on Rudi hard and for the most part he handled all the new people really well. My Uncle Rob in Kelowna did scare him pretty good, but we'll blame that outsized reaction on a lack of sleep :) Visiting Uncle Rob, Aunt Cheryl and cousin Elan in Kelowna! We visited lots of other people too, but I cna't put pictures of them all - it's too many! 2. Salt Spring Island was our first stop. I'm sure this place would be a madhouse with tourists in the summer but in the off-season it was just a deli...

On Saturday we leave on our longest road trip ever! We will be gone over 5 weeks. We are taking about a week to drive to Vancouver Island, we'll have 3 weeks there in various locations, and then another week to come home. Jake and I both love a road trip and we've done some really good ones together. We've driven to Nova Scotia twice, once through Canada and the Gaspe peninsula and once through the States and spent some time in Maine. We have driven to Oregon and then back up through Waterton and Alberta. We have driven to the Muskoka region of Ontario with our niece and nephew. We are not strangers to this kind of trip. We know some good tricks (bring your contigo travel mug for water in the car - keeps it cold! Re-fill it when you stop for gas at their soda fountain, which always has water.) and tips (on long driving days get up really early and get a few hours on the road under your belt before you are awake enough for breakfast; staying downtown in a city can often ...

I know I've written about this before, but I'm just so in love with my sunroom nap time that I have to write about it more. Today the sun is blazing in and if I lean forward just a little I can see two sundogs on either side of it. It's cold outside, but warm in here. Basically, sitting under a sleeping baby is the best excuse to sit in the sun I have ever had. I can't clean, cook, do chores or anything else while he's napping. I just have to sit here and enjoy it. This is why it's hard to give up these cuddly naps - then I'd feel like I had to be DOING something during this 2 hour chunk of time! There are closets that need to be rearranged! Dishes to wash! Supper to prep! Laundry to do! But instead of all of that, I am sitting here in -30 weather, basking in sunlight, snuggling my baby. This is why the word bliss was invented. I know we won't be able to do this forever - eventually he'll be too big - but I'm sure soaking it up now, while it ...