Just to add to the craziness...
You know how it is - as soon as one thing is under control in your life, people start wanting to know about the next thing. In our case, since the house and wedding are under way, and everyone knows I'm not a huge pet fan (which pretty much guarantees that my friends' pets make a beeline for me whenever possible), it's BABIES! People want to know when/if we're going to have children.
I guess it's a bit my own fault. I'm guilty of teasing others about this topic, and given we are old to be getting married (by Mennonite standards - not by anyone else's I'd wager) it seems like a natural question. There were also all those years I spent hogging the babies at church, much to the chagrin of my church friends who also wanted to hold the babies but were no match for my pushiness (sorry, Kari and Niki!).
I always thought I wanted kids. In fact, I was considering the logistics of having kids on my own for a while there (but not very seriously because I like sleep).
The older I get, the more scared I am of having children.
I am downright TERRIFIED now. Sure, babies are cute and smell good and even when they're annoying and whiny you can forgive them because they're so small and squishy and their laughs are contagious. The thing is, they don't STAY babies. They become a PERSON. A person with their own wants and needs and personality. That you have to negotiate with and take care of FOREVER. That's what kids are. FOREVER.
Teaching jr high really puts parenthood and children's development into stark relief. I teach some psycho children. Yes, there are fewer of those ones than the nice ones, and you could explain much of their crazy behaviour by analyzing what is going on at home, but still. It is enough to strike the fear of parenthood into any sane person's heart.
The other thing is that I am a little selfish. Ok, A LOT selfish. I like sleeping at night. I like having a plan for the weekend that doesn't include nap time (unless it's my nap time). I like being able to go and do things like camping or skiing without having to worry about the logistics of including children. Jake and I have so much fun together - I don't want that to go away!
Plus my irrational (but are they?) fears: What if they turn out wrong? What if I don't like them? What if they're not smart? I think I could handle having a child with special needs ok, but I am not sure about my ability to deal with a truly low-IQ child. I think I would lose my mind. What if they are morbidly obese? I know you're all probably laughing at me by now, but these are actually things I am afraid of. For real!
So maybe we'll just do this renovation first (and get married), and then think about whether playing baby roulette is a good idea.
I guess it's a bit my own fault. I'm guilty of teasing others about this topic, and given we are old to be getting married (by Mennonite standards - not by anyone else's I'd wager) it seems like a natural question. There were also all those years I spent hogging the babies at church, much to the chagrin of my church friends who also wanted to hold the babies but were no match for my pushiness (sorry, Kari and Niki!).
I always thought I wanted kids. In fact, I was considering the logistics of having kids on my own for a while there (but not very seriously because I like sleep).
The older I get, the more scared I am of having children.
I am downright TERRIFIED now. Sure, babies are cute and smell good and even when they're annoying and whiny you can forgive them because they're so small and squishy and their laughs are contagious. The thing is, they don't STAY babies. They become a PERSON. A person with their own wants and needs and personality. That you have to negotiate with and take care of FOREVER. That's what kids are. FOREVER.
Teaching jr high really puts parenthood and children's development into stark relief. I teach some psycho children. Yes, there are fewer of those ones than the nice ones, and you could explain much of their crazy behaviour by analyzing what is going on at home, but still. It is enough to strike the fear of parenthood into any sane person's heart.
The other thing is that I am a little selfish. Ok, A LOT selfish. I like sleeping at night. I like having a plan for the weekend that doesn't include nap time (unless it's my nap time). I like being able to go and do things like camping or skiing without having to worry about the logistics of including children. Jake and I have so much fun together - I don't want that to go away!
Plus my irrational (but are they?) fears: What if they turn out wrong? What if I don't like them? What if they're not smart? I think I could handle having a child with special needs ok, but I am not sure about my ability to deal with a truly low-IQ child. I think I would lose my mind. What if they are morbidly obese? I know you're all probably laughing at me by now, but these are actually things I am afraid of. For real!
So maybe we'll just do this renovation first (and get married), and then think about whether playing baby roulette is a good idea.
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